Why big affirmations don’t work (and what actually does)

Have you ever received the perfect piece of advice at the worst possible time?

You know it’s good. A part of you might even believe it’s true. But something in you resists it—or simply can’t hear it. That’s not because you’re broken or unwilling to change. It’s because your nervous system wasn’t ready.

Dr. Joe Dispenza captures this perfectly:

“No new information can enter the nervous system that is not equal to the person’s emotional state.”

In other words, you don’t experience reality—you experience your beliefs about reality.

And those beliefs are shaped by your past, your fears, your traumas, and your emotional state in this moment.

Let’s break this down in a way that might feel a little easier to understand.

Why Can’t I Just “Think Positive”?

Have you ever tried repeating affirmations like “I am abundant” or “I am enough” only to feel a wave of resistance, self-doubt, or even anxiety?

That’s not a failure—it’s your nervous system doing its job.

When a belief feels too far from your current experience, your subconscious mind can perceive it as unsafe or untrue. And instead of shifting your mindset, the affirmation might actually backfire.

This is why so many of us feel stuck. We try to change our thoughts, but our body—the part of us that holds the fear, the memories, the tension—still sees the world through the lens of our old beliefs.

We can’t logic our way into transformation.

But we can work with the nervous system gently and gradually.

You Can’t Change What You’re Not Aware Of

Here’s something we don’t say enough:

You can’t blame yourself for the things you didn’t know.

You can’t expect yourself to act differently when you weren’t even aware of what was running the show.

Most of the time, we’re acting from unconscious programs—old stories and emotional patterns that were created to protect us. These patterns become the filter we see life through. And until we pause long enough to notice them, they will continue to drive our actions, thoughts, and decisions.

But the moment you become aware—you have a choice.

And that’s where real transformation begins.

You can choose to act the same way you always have—or you can choose to respond differently. To gently release the limitation that’s been keeping you stuck.

Why Gradual Belief Shifts Work

It's important to approach this shift from two fronts:

1. Gradual affirmations that prepare the ground—They introduce the possibility of a new, better way using thoughts that are easy to accept. They don’t shock the system. They build safety and openness so that the old belief can surface gently.

2. Journaling that helps you release the limitation—Once the limiting belief is in your awareness, you now have access to shift it. But instead of forcing a new thought, we make space for it by using emotional release techniques like the Sedona Method.

Let’s walk through an example:

Imagine you’re working with a belief like:

“I never have enough money.”

Trying to jump straight to “I am wildly wealthy” may feel impossible.

But what if you could build a bridge from where you are now to where you want to be?

Here’s how that might look:

1. “I accept and take responsibility for my expenses.”

2. “I am grateful for all the money and abundance that I currently have.”

3. “I release all that doesn’t serve me.”

4. “I am open to having everything I need as I need it.”

5. “I am ready to receive all the abundance I’ve been asking for.”

6. “I am always provided with everything I need when I need it.”

These affirmations build on each other. Each one nudges your nervous system a little further—but stays within the realm of what feels possible.

And when the original limiting belief rises to the surface (as it will), you’ll be ready to let it go.

Once you’ve identified a limiting belief, the next step is not to force it away—but to gently let it go.

One of my favorite ways to do just that is the Sedona Method. Created by Lester Levenson and made popular by Hale Dwoskin through his book The Sedona Method, this releasing technique helps your nervous system release the emotion underneath the belief—without forcing anything. This is one of the simplest and most powerful emotional release techniques I’ve used.

It’s not about fighting your emotions—it’s about welcoming them, sitting with them, and then choosing to let them go when you’re ready.

Here’s how it works:

Feel it fully.

Start by identifying an emotion that’s been weighing on you. Let yourself sit with it, without judgment—like welcoming a guest into your home.

Ask yourself:

• Could I allow myself to welcome this feeling?

Yes or no, whatever feels right to you.

• Could I let this feeling go?

Yes or no, whatever feels right to you.

• Would I let this feeling go?

Yes or no, whatever feels right to you.

• When?

Now, or whenever feels right to you.

There’s no pressure to say yes. Just notice how you respond. If you’re not ready, that’s okay. Simply return to the first question and cycle through them again until the natural answers are yes and now.

You might find that something starts to shift, even if only a little.

This technique helps create space—space for something new to enter. And with each release, you expand your capacity for peace, clarity, and trust.

✨  You don’t have to change your life overnight.

But when you understand how your nervous system works, you stop blaming yourself—and start working with your body instead of against it.

Every shift begins with awareness.

Every belief can be made new.

Every layer you shed brings you closer to the real you.

You’re doing better than you think.

So wherever you are today, trust that it’s enough.
And if nothing else, let this be your reminder:

You’re not doing it wrong.
You’re doing it your way.
And that’s more than enough. 💛

 

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If you're feeling drawn to go deeper into this work, there's a space I’ve created that weaves all of this together—journaling, affirmations, and gentle weekly guidance. If it’s the right time, you’ll know.

👉 You can explore Affirmation Journey here.